Here’s the nitty gritty

I quit my job at 23.

I remember walking out of the gates of the paper mill feeling elated, ecstatic even. I was finally taking my coaching practice full-time. I knew it was exactly what I was meant to be doing. I could feel it in my bones and it was pure joy.

And then, a moment later I was absolutely fucking terrified.

I had just quit a Fortune 500 company job in Supply Chain. It was decent money and I had already earned a promotion in a year.

Plus, I was dealing with my parents’ recent divorce, the aftermath of a hurricane and, to top it all off, I got dumped a month before I handed in my two weeks’ notice.

I had one client and NO leads. It made no logical sense to quit now.

And that’s how I knew without a doubt that it was time to double down.

I had that burning desire to serve and a deep knowledge that I was meant for more. I knew life had more to offer.

So I invested my life savings into a business coaching program, quit my job, and got to work.

You see, I had recently healed myself from multiple eating disorders so I created a coaching program to help other women transform their relationship with food and their bodies.

What I didn’t realize was that the patterns of perfectionism, comparison & toxic high achievement that had led to my eating disorders were still running the show.

My ego wasn’t running my body image anymore...it was running my business.

I worked 12 hour days on a highly regimented schedule because that’s what entrepreneurs are supposed to do. I got up at 5 am and worked weekends and was ashamed every time I didn’t hit a revenue goal. I compared myself and my business constantly to other entrepreneurs and of course, I always came up short.

I was never good enough, never doing enough. I never had enough clients or enough money.

Those first six months in my business had a shadow over them; a veil of anxiety covering up all the amazing progress my clients made, every win I had, every day I managed to keep myself going despite my exhaustion. 

As you can imagine, I finally had a total meltdown and hit bottom when I left a therapy session feeling worse than ever.

Just like the day I hit the bottom of my eating disorder, I felt something shift deep down. As I cried in the parking lot I had only one thought in my mind, “Enough.”

I told my therapist I was ready to start taking the anti-anxiety meds she had recommended months before that I was too proud to consider.

I took three days off and forced myself to only do things I truly wanted to do. It was the first time in months that I allowed myself some space for peace. I already felt lighter.

On the third day of rest, I found Human Design.

It was such a crazy concept; how could it be possible that this chart could tell me who I am and how I’m meant to run my life? And yet, I felt that deep knowing again.

It was time to double down again.

I was scared to invest the $3000 for the Human Design coaching program (I didn’t think I had made enough money to justify another investment) but I did it anyway.
 I felt an immediate sense of relief as I clicked ‘enroll’. The next day I signed a client out of nowhere for exactly $3000. That was my first moment when it clicked; this is what alignment feels like.

The next three months were my highest earning months up to that point. 

For those three months, I learned what it meant to surrender, how to connect deeply with my body and listen to my intuition. 

I reclaimed all my power I had given away to perfectionism my entire life.
My business felt joyful again and my clients were getting absolutely mind-blowing results. I was working less, earning more, and feeling like myself for the first time in over a year.

A year later I felt another nudge to up level.

So, I took out a loan and invested another $10K with the same Human Design coach... the week the Covid Pandemic threw the whole country into lockdown. So scary.

But once again, trusting my intuition when it said “Hell Yes” was what led me to the next level. 

My business transformed once again as I dove deeper into my gifts with the help of Human Design tools, quantum creation and spiritual surrender.

As I write this, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for all those moments I felt like giving up and didn’t. For all the mistakes I made, for all the times I let my ego run the show.

I hustled, I grinded, I exhausted myself and took all the action that the personal development industry said was necessary to be successful. And yet, when I surrendered, allowed myself to rest, and most importantly, tapped into the frequency which allowed the energy to flow, that was when everything started happening for me.

When you leverage your energy and the frequency of your truest power over action you will always get greater results. More importantly, you will always enjoy the journey to the results.

The more I devoted myself to simply being IN the process of reclaiming my power, breaking toxic ego patterns, and surrendering to the flow of Life the less I worried about money, what other people thought of me, or needing clarity on what I am supposed to do next.

 Being connected with my sense of worthiness and the energy of my purpose is all I need.

I’m not telling this story to say that you have to keep throwing money down every time the going gets tough. In fact, my goal is to help you NOT have to invest as much as I did or take as much time as I did to figure all of this out.

I’m saying you must trust the Divine little voice in your head when it says “It’s time.”

Time to shift. Time to leap. Time to let go.

That voice is the truth. It’s who you really are.

If you feel, as I did, that there is more out there for you, that life has more to offer than what you are currently experiencing...you’re right.

Stop questioning yourself. Stop doubting your power.

Make the decision and allow Life to show you what is meant for you.

If you want to learn how to leverage your own unique energetic signature and enhance your creation capabilities, WITHOUT having to be trapped in the hustle & grind, then let’s make it happen.